i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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