they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
