Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
