what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
