The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
