i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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