I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
