His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
