Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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