He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
