So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize