i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
