I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize