so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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