I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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