I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
