just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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