I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
