making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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