before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
