I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
