nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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