WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
