James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize