You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
