we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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