So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
