Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize