Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
