did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
