HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
