What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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