I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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