Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
