i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
