You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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