I can tuck mytits in my pants
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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