is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
