Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
