me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
