and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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