i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
As shirtless as possible
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
