So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Randomize
