Just fell off a train. Bad.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize