Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
