That's intense
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
