He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
