Ambien. No doubt about it.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i think i have herpe
just one?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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