Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
