Pants 0. Shit 1.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
