Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
