I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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