youre lurking in front of me
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
