Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My penis needs a shock collar
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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