nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
