this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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