i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
