he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize