i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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