so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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