mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
