I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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