Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
